If You Are Depressed, I Hope You Read This

December 6, 2018 Off By Deby Jizi

"The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n." ~John Milton

Why? Because when we are depressed, we need to hear the good news. We are so busy listening to the misery track on repeat that anything positive or upbeat just makes us cringe. I know. I spent the majority of my life feeling depressed.

I say “feeling” depressed, instead of “I was” depressed, for a reason. I refuse to be defined or identified by a label. Words are powerful. Labels are powerful. They get us stuck, and for God’s sake, we are stuck enough in those miserable thoughts and feelings, we don’t need anything more to push us over the edge. So many people I meet today, including many of the college students I taught for the past five years, have been told that they will have to struggle with and manage depression for the rest of their lives. This is absolutely not true!

Before you assume that my depression was not as legitimate as yours, let me share a bit of my experience. I was in my teens when I first started having depressive episodes. I didn’t know what they were; all I knew was I had a hard time getting out of bed, felt miserable, and I listened to way too many sad love songs. I didn’t even have a boyfriend to mourn over. I pushed myself through the day and slapped a smile on everything I did. I suffered in complete silence.

Fast forward to my 20s. It got harder to get out of bed. I used to feel so good before bed, having pulled myself out of a deep funk, that I didn’t want to go to sleep because I knew I would have to start over the next morning. Three of my four children were born by my 28th birthday, and that ushered in a decade of fighting an even steeper climb to feel good.

Yes, I considered suicide. A lot. I fought the urge to jerk the steering wheel to the left when driving alone at high speeds, and I thought about slitting my wrists. I never did these things though, even though the mental pain seemed to push me to want to.

I have been on antidepressants, and they left me numb. For a time I swung back and forth between deep depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

Then finally I got well. Focusing on my daughter helped me to find the strength to find a way out of my darkness. I cared more about her than I did myself, and I could not imagine her living with the mental torture I experienced.

If you got this far, you might finish this article, but you still might ditch me because I am going to tell you that you don’t have to be depressed. No matter what anyone has told you, you can get well. You can be happy.

You’ll have to take some action though. One thing: I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or doctor. If you are seeing a professional, don’t stop because of this article. Just listen to what I have to say, and see if it resonates with you. I want the world to have one less person who is depressed and one more person who can see that life is worth living.

Here are 3 Things to get you started:

ONE: Get some sleep. Messing with your circadian rhythm can do a number on your hormones, and hormones run the show. I am not going to get into details here, but adults need anywhere from 7-9 hours of sleep, and getting to bed before 10 p.m. will allow you to get a good night’s rest. Yes, it matters when you go to bed.

TWO: Stop eating junk. It would be best if you went on a Whole Food Plant-Based diet to cleanse your system, but I know many of you won’t do that. So cut out the processed foods, eat fresh fruits and vegetables, and find clean sources of meat. No matter what anyone says, forget Paleo and Keto diets. They are heavy in animal products and that means cholesterol. Your body makes all the cholesterol it needs. If you still like meat, follow the Blue Zones Diet or Dean Ornish Spectrum Diet.

THREE: Learn mindfulness meditation. It is easy, and you don’t need to pay to learn it. There are free videos on YouTube, and Insight Timer is an app that has free meditations from teachers such as Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Mindfulness will help you to pay attention to that voice in your head that keeps derailing your success, especially when it tells you that it is hopeless, and you’ll never be happy again. Start with five minutes and build up.

These three things are self-care, and what you need to do is start taking good care of yourself. I am not diminishing the gravity of how you are feeling. I have been there. I am telling you that you can get better.

Take baby steps. Commit to finding a way to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit. Stop telling yourself that you will always be depressed. When you ask, “How can I be happy?” or “How can I feel better?” then your brain will start searching for the answers.

I applaud you for reading this far. Now take action. You can do it.

Peace,