Happiness is a Choice
When I am caught in a downward spiral of negative thinking, the concept that happiness is a choice sounds like fiction to me. Fortunately, I have not gotten too far down the rabbit hole lately before I recognize what is happening, so that I can turn things around, but there were times in my life that though I knew the mind could make a hell of heaven, I just didn’t know what I could do to change it.
That was until I started researching happiness. There is a short video that I am fond of referencing. It is by SoulPancake and titled Woman Gets PERFECT SCORE on The Happiness Test. The woman, whose name is not given, is asked for her secret to happiness. There are several components to her happiness, but the one that got my attention was a phrase she states every morning when she wakes up, “Today I choose to be happy, well, and complete.”
Making the choice to be happy each day sets an intention. I noticed that when I intend something, I become aware when I am moving away from what I intended, so I can course correct. That actually happened to me today. I woke up and repeated the phrase, “Today I choose to be happy, well, and complete.” A few hours later, sitting alone at a table at my local library, I found myself feeling down.
I was reading a new book, UnDoIt by Dr. Dean Ornish, and I was on the chapter titled Love More. Within a few minutes I found myself feeling low. I wanted to skip over the parts about love and relationships because right now I am in a phase of my life where I feel lonely; something I’ve never experienced before.
Then I remembered my intention to be happy today, and though I resisted it at first, I re-committed myself to being happy. The solution, I realized, was not to skip the section on love and connection, but to dive in. I need to develop more connection and love in my life, and shutting down my heart is not going to help me do that. It, also, will not make me happy!
Because I choose to be happy, I now am choosing to find ways to be more connected to others. Choosing to be happy doesn’t mean to slap a smiley face on negative feelings. I don’t like to be reminded that for the first time in my life I am lonely, but facing that fact and doing something about it will help me to be happy, which is my intention.
Choosing to be happy is the beginning. When I choose my final destination, then all of the roads I am on will point to it. If I go off course, then I look at where I want to be, which is happy, and find a way to get back on course. That is why choosing to be happy is so important.
When I choose to be happy, but find myself ruminating on my past mistakes, I don’t experience happiness at all. I can learn why I keep rehashing the past, how to forgive myself, how to make amends to anyone I have harmed, or any of a dozen actions that will help me to stop focusing on something I cannot change. The choice to be happy gives me the focus I need to take those actions.
When I started this post, I was struggling with loneliness and purpose, and I knew that I needed more work in the area of rewiring my brain for happiness. Then I thought about how many other people out there who may be feeling the same way, and I decided to write about it. The funny thing is that now I am feeling good and have a sense of purpose in sharing my journey.
All of this happened because I remembered that this morning, I chose to be happy today.
Photo by Artem Bali on Unsplash